Changing Babies Nappies.
Jeff Foxworthy.
You have to change those diapers every day. When
those directions on the side of the Pampers box say,
'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding!
Don't Get Lost With it All.
Lawrence Kutner - Child psychologist
With all the attention paid to your new baby, it’s
easy for your own feelings and needs to get lost in
the shuffle. Although all parents engage in some
self-sacrifice for their children, keep in mind that
your goal isn’t just to raise a happy, healthy
child. You want that child to be part of a happy,
healthy family as well.
The Secret of
First Laughter.
James Matthew (Barrie) playwright. Peter, in Peter
Pan, act 1.
When the first baby laughed for the first time, the
laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went
skipping about, and that was the beginning of
fairies. And now when every new baby is born its
first laugh becomes a fairy. So there ought to be
one fairy for every boy or girl.
The Bonding
Process.
T. Berry Brazelton, Author and paediatrician.
Attachment to a baby is a long-term process, not a
single, magical moment. The opportunity for bonding
at birth may be compared to falling in love—staying
in love takes longer and demands more work.
The Modern Mum.
Jean Marzollo Author of
Your Maternity Leave.
After your baby is born, guilt can grow into a
monster that sits on your shoulder and whispers into
your ear, “Mirror, mirror on the wall—who’s the
guiltiest of them all?” The answer is working
mothers. Every time you can’t calm your screaming
baby, the guilt monster will tell you that if you
were a true mom, an at- home mom, you would know
what to do. . . . Every time something goes wrong at
work, it will tell you that it’s your fault for
trying to be a “supermom.”
The Bonding
Process.
Stanley & Nancy Greenspan
psychiatrists, health economists. First Feelings:
Milestones in the Emotional Development of Your
Baby and Child.
As your baby progresses from one milestone to the
next, remember that he doesn’t really leave any of
them behind. In order to grow and develop to his
full potential he must continually build on and
strengthen all of the steps that have gone before .
Two Lovely
Phrases.
Jeff Foxworthy.
A baby is God’s way of saying the world should go on.
A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human
race.
|
dad's story continued
During the small gaps of sanity I
realised that things were not going to
be good, after all, we still have two
months to go and there's eight people in
the room. Fortunately, I'm pretty good
at thinking straight and working
effectively in stressful situations and
it was this part of my personality that
came through, which I could also see in
my wife. Then just as I thought we had a
while to go the women (doctor, midwife,
I didn't know) said to my wife that she
had to go all the way as she wanted the
baby out and my wife, with all her will
and power, pushed hard and fierce and it
was then that I saw something appear.
Like most people I'm use to seeing
movies/documentaries of birth where the
hair on the baby's head shows first. But
all I saw was some large cylindrical
object. In fact, it looked like one of
those tubes of sausage meat you get in
the freezer section at the supermarket,
but with slime on it.
I know that most readers may think that
my observations may sound weird but you
have to remember that I did not know
what a breach birth was and I didn't
know that Layla was coming out bum first
and not head first. No wonder I thought
for one fraction of a second that we
were giving birth to a alien!
All of a sudden Layla was born and for
just one moment the unknown women
delivering her placed her on my wife's
tummy while she cut the cord. At this
point I gently touched her head but then
she was suddenly whisked away to four
people around a small tray/machine unit.
Of course, at this time, our attentions
were on my wife, who in thirty minutes
or so had given birth to our daughter.
But while taking in the congratulations
from staff and speaking encouraging
words to her, my ears couldn't help but
hone in on the words that were coming
from the four people who now had care of
her.
 All
I could hear was words like bpm, heart,
one over 20, or something of that
nature. Whatever they were, they
were hard to compute amid all the shock
of the situation, but I knew things were
not as good as expected. Then a
paediatrician come over and said that
they would have to take her away to a
place with better facilities, which was
fully understandable. Then we awaited
the afterbirth and the room started to
gently empty like the soft movement of a
feather in a light breeze. Finally, we
were left alone and it was then that we
took in the fact that we now had
daughter and couldn't understand what
all those stories of long labour and
hours of pain were all about.
My wife and I have been through many
experiences, each with there own unified
resolve. Yet, one would think that this
experience would have its own sense of
resolve. But the nicest, even wonderful
thing about this experience, was that it
felt just like any other. The only
metaphor that I can think of to explain
this is a fairground ride: Your both
scared of the ride but you just know
deep down that you have to do it. Once
the ride is over, you both speak of the
thrill, scariness, and share the
experience as one.
 I
suppose what I'm trying to say is that
whatever strength, friendship, support
or love you both share with each other
throughout life, if it's truly true,
then all of life feels the same no
matter what the circumstance, and that
must be a sign of true companionship. It
was a fantastic event and a beautiful
day. I shall never forget it for the
rest of my life.
|
UPON
REFLECTION
I
think the weirdest, or even luckiest, aspect
was that I learnt that most breach and
premature births are made by caesarean. I
also learnt that most women take more than
gas and air. But my wife, had a natural
birth, with only gas and air and it took
around hour to delivery. If that's not a
'motor-mum' then what is!
If you
want your wife to go into delivery then just
go for a full English breakfast. Worked for
me!!
When supporting your wife through the
delivery process remember that she is giving
birth for the two of you and words that
remind her of so are exceptionally
supportive. Remain focused on her only and
when sight of the baby comes explain to her
what you can see and how far she needs to go
to complete the task.
I was
inundated by leaflets and posters in every
surgery, ward or class that showed how to
relax when in labour, including how partners
can help by massaging, getting into
different positions, flexing with the 'ball'
etc. I was intending to smart-up on these
things a month before hand but managed to
get away with this type of education because
everything happened early. Even if I did
smart-up there were no special stools, balls
or anything else in the labour room. So when
you go to the maternity ward make sure you
take your home gym with you!!
Even
though we completed the anti-natal classes
at Musgrove Park Hospital and did one
parenthood class at our local surgery, not
once was premature birth mentioned.
Therefore, in my opinion, our ignorance of
what happened to us was a good thing because
if I was aware of the true extent of the
circumstance I'm sure I would have worried.
But the more time I spend at hospital the
more I get to realise that this is the
tactic of the medical profession. The less
you know the better you perform when
required. Whether it be your own healing,
emotional status or birth. But I believe
that with a bit more attention to the
education of premature birth we could have
been more prepared.
Most
books on premature birth are no good to
anyone because when it happens your world is
put in the hands of the professionals and
your emotional state doesn't allow your
attention to read such things. You rely on
the hospitals advice and give time its
allowance to make things right. Only now at
three weeks past that I am now reading such
books and it's only the later quarter of
these books that interests and teaches me. But
do take advantage of the hospitals library.
If you visit your child and have spouts of
just sitting, get one of their books and
read up. Especially dad's who accompany mums
that are busy with baby.
I wish
I read about
Kangaroo Care before the third
weeks of Layla's life. If I knew sooner I
would have instigated it more. And no
offence to the hospital's already stretched
budget, but the environments with which the
baby is kept does not allow any such close
contact that Kangaroo Care suggests.
|
|
